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01-18-2012 9:14 PM -- By: Alan Carnahan,  From: Indianapolis, Indiana  

Trudi,

On Micheal's 5th angelversary; I wanted to stop by and pay my respects.

Whoever said......"Time heals all wounds".......never lost a child. I had to read quiet a lot of pages to figure out that you lost Micheal to an accident. I'm still not sure what happened. Did you ever write about it?

I lost my son, Crawford, my only child; also in 2007. He was 2 weeks from graduating high school when he contacted a awful disease. This disease kills if it isn't identified quickly.....it wasn't and it killed him in just 4 days. To read about this disease and to view his memorial site that I have made for him; just click on the thumbnail photo of him that I leave here.

As I write to parents here that have lost a child....I notice that so many of them died in the year 2007. Many more than other years.......so many.

I am so sorry for your loss of your son, Trudi.

From one parent to another that has lost their precious son;

With only memories left of our boys.......

01-18-2012 4:55 PM -- By: dawn,  From: utah  

Thank you for sharing your handsome son. A very special tribute

01-18-2012 5:39 AM -- By: Uncle Bill,  From:  

hey mike still thinking of you miss you.

01-11-2012 5:44 AM -- By: mum,  From: here  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Hoping that was you giving me shite about the tattoo and the decal on the car last Monday.  I guess at the 5yr mark I needed to hear from you about that day.   I hoped with all my heart that you hadn't really wanted to leave.  Hearing that you didn't mean to leave eased my heart.  Doesn't mean that every day I don't miss you and wish you were still here, it just means you might have stayed.

I love that you are around Jeya.  She talks of you as though you are there.  She wasn't a month old when you left yet she seems connected to you. 

I hope you are able to see that Harmony still needs her dad.  Don't ever believe you didn't deserve her.  She was born to you for a reason that is yet to be revealed.  My hope is her heart is as gentle and loving as yours.  She might get bruised emotionally but her heart will give her the ability to love large like her dad.

I have that picture she eluded to.  I know it was a 'mean' thing,but now its one of the memories I have left with me.

I will take your advice and on the 18th I will crack a champagne in your honour.  I will try with all my heart to be less morbid about your passing. 

Someone told me that everyday I wake up is another day closer to seeing you.  Hope that's true. 

I wonder if it was Grandpa that was with you that morning.  Have a feeling Nanna was with him holding your hand as the paramedics worked on you.  What a struggle, your grandparents holding you so you could leave your broken body, Mal and his crews trying to keep you here.

Fly free now Mike.  Take Nanna and Grandpa with you.  I get the feeling they are both at an age where the enjoy all those things they did way back.

Never doubt you're love, missed and a very important part of this family.  You are one of three, always will be. 

If you're watching me type this over my shoulder know I would love to just have a hug....miss that.

If you can hold you brother Mike.  He's struggling.  Not sure if its the old nightmares he thought were gone, you dying or just a time in his life where he's lost.  Either way, you know better than most how that feels. 

Love you my son my son.....

12-31-2011 4:44 AM -- By: mum,  From: home  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Well its 8.25pm NYE 2011.  In less than 4hrs it will be 2012.  Another year has come and gone, you haven't come home.   Might sound strange but even now after almost 5yrs I still think this might be a joke.  You're just away.  Maybe just a little way off watching Harmony grow, watching over your sis, bro and families.

Gotta hope wherever you might be you are painfree.  I wonder sometimes if you are here.  Thought you were sitting on my bed this last Christmas morning.  You were always the first one up :).

I had thought by now I would be able to 'live' with losing you, but you know, for all my touting how strong I am I am not strong enough to live with the loss of my child.

I love you Mike, though sometimes I doubt that love was strong enough.   I miss you my son. 

Will close my eyes tonight and wake in the New Year....only wish there was an sms on my phone from you wishing me a Happy New Year....selfish I know.

Love you my son my son.....Mum

12-25-2011 9:57 PM -- By: Mikesmomrs,  From: New England, USA  

Micheal:  I pray you surround your mum with your sweet spirit as this Christmas season surrounds her life.  Let her know that you are there for her and with her, as she faces new roads to traverse and new hills to climb.  Your mum is a kind, gentle woman, offering herself to those who need her comfort, willingly and lovingly.  Help her to receive that same comfort from others as she walks through this life. 

The memories she holds dear are treasures to her, of you and the rest of your family....something that keeps her going.  I know that you are with her, always, and you will always be remembered, as long as breath can come through her lips to say your name, and those who come after her will also remember you because she does say your name.  Micheal.  Micheal.  Micheal.  

Say hey to my Mike, there, would you?  Likely you two have met up and found in each other what each of you looked for in a friend while here on this earth. 

love to you, Carol  mikesmomrs 

10-08-2011 8:50 PM -- By: mum,  From: here  

Hey Micheal Shane...Its a very wet and windy Sunday here.  Just a week off Caleb's birthday, then Melissa's.  You probably know your sister broke her leg a few weeks back.  I say that because I believe she had a guardian angel with her....holding her through what must have been excruitating pain.  She is strong and is healing well, but I know her thoughts turn to you with each ache on that journey.

I have seen your baby girl of late.  Long dark hair...dyed I think with streaks....it seems to be a pattern    She played with Amanda, hugged Sue and I got a feeling that she is doing okay. 

Emily is a tweenager now.  Oh how I wish you were here to guide her through this time in her life.  I think you more than most get how hard it is...but I hope with all my heart that you are still watching over her.

Miss Jeya is absolutely beautiful, like Harmony with light brown hair....like her Aunty Mel in so many ways. 

Zak, now that is one that could be Uncle Mike all over. Sensitive and volatile.  Frustrations see him bursting with anger, tears and then quiet.  He gave me his first drawing of Marvin yesterday.  I wanted so much to turn to you and say 'isn't it great' just like yours.  The tears were there, but you know I couldn't let him see them...didn't want him to stop sharing his life cause it might make me sad.

I wish I could say with age comes wisdom, but here I sit at 56 no wiser no more settled than I was in my 20's, 30's 40's or 50's.....maybe when I die the answers will be waiting and I can rest.

I love you Micheal....not sure if you ever understood that.  I might have lack the ability to show it in ways that you might appreciate. 

My regrets where you are concerned are simple.....that I might have given you permission to leave, that you saw my overtly opinionated views as a negative not a positive and that me in your life was the final straw that lead you to make your last decision.....that my son will weigh heavily on my heart for the rest of my life.....

Where ever you are I truly  hope that you are without pain, without regre and above all surrounded by love and light....

You are now and always will be my son, my boy, my first born....love you Micheal Shane.....Mum

06-04-2011 11:06 PM -- By: drema pearson,  From: in amandas heart forever  

 Michael,just wanted to send birthday wishes to you in heaven... drema & angel amanda faoth wooten

06-04-2011 9:06 AM -- By: uncle bill,  From: family  

happy bday mike

06-04-2011 9:03 AM -- By: bill,  From:  

06-04-2011 2:31 AM -- By: Mum,  From: Here  

Hey Micheal Shane,  Its your 36th birthday and today the sun is shining just like it was 36 years ago.  You were born around 10am.  The day was freezing.  We were moved into 'our room' around 2pm.  It was the sunroom, made into a 'ward' due to the hospital being busy.  I didn't mind.  We were just meeting each other and I was happy to have you to myself.

I remember looking at you thinking how small you were and how dependant you were on me for everything.  I was  just abit scared, but you didn't cry..you just looked at me with those big eyes.

How I wish I could just sms you this morning, call you this afternoon, have you over with Harmony for afternoon tea or better yet a meal.  Chocolate self saucing pudding....yummm.

This year has been different Mike.  The date hit me like a freight train just as I woke.  The world crashed in as it did in Jan 07. But I wasn't going to hold up in the house and not 'remember' you in a better way.

We spent much of it out at the Park, just being with people.

Now home its colder, the light is fading and all I can think of is 'how did you enjoy your birthday?'

Hoping you are as I imagine, free, with like minded spirits/energies that show you all the beauty and the wonder.

I love you Micheal Shane.   My heart will never mend, its broken beyong repair.   Hugging you in my mind...missing you with all my being....Mum

06-04-2011 12:22 AM -- By: ,  From: fla  

happy birthday!

06-04-2011 12:09 AM -- By: Judy,  From:  

Happy Birthday in Heaven Michael

06-02-2011 3:36 AM -- By: Carol mikesmomrs,  From: NH  

Hello Mike:  Well, it is nearing your birthday, again, and your sweet mum is counting the hours, her heart beating in rhythm with the memories---sweet memories given to her throughout the years of your life on this earth; memories that carry her from one breath to the next some days.  She knows that your beautiful spirit surrounds her every day, every hour, and is so thankful for that.  Please show her, again, how near you are, how much of your spirit surrounds her always.  And happy birthday, Micheal Shane...celebrate, shout with joy and sing with gusto as all of our angels gather with you to honor your day. 

Trudi:  Know that you are in my heart, my thoughts, and as always, my prayers this week as those memories fill your heart, bringing back that sweet, sweet day, 36 years ago, when you gave to the world a wonderful being, your beautiful son, Micheal Shane. 

love to you,  Carol

05-08-2011 7:19 AM -- By: Mum,  From: Right Here  

Hey Mike.  Well its Mothers Day here, its actually late on Sunday night.  Melissa and Steven organised a lunch in Mitcham at a chinese restaurant.  Funnily it was so much like Mt Evelyn I had to smile.  The kids are all growing so fast.  Em, now counts as an adult.  Just like when we would go for chinese, Caleb, like his mum, would only eat chicken that had no sauce, spice, just chicken.  Amazingly though he drank chinese Tea and loved it.  I wore your necklace, the black and white.  I needed to have you with me in someway.  I also wore angel wings, little silver coloured ones.  Caleb saw them and told me how he found some the same on a back pack he bought at the op shop..  Wonder sometimes if you arent behind these things.  Anyway, it made me smile and yet sad at the same time.  The thought of you being there in some way, yet not being able to see you, hug you. 

I guess you are with Nanna, that gives me some comfort.  She always loved you so much.  She would be in her element with you and Luke there.  Hard for those left behind, but I guess one day we will all get to be there with you.

So much my heart want to say to you my son, but sometimes its hard, not sure what you can hear, don't know if you know how much you are loved and missed. 

Thinking of Harmony today too.  She's 5, another milestone.  I'm hoping she and Amanda have been able to share a beautiful day.

I know that being your mum has taught me much, losing you has taught me even more.

I love you my son, I miss you more than any words I could ever find.......Hope you are flying free.....Mum

03-05-2011 6:52 PM -- By: Mum,  From: here  

Hey Mike.  Its been awhile.  I guess I wane between believing you check your 'mail' and thinking you aren't close enough to see.  I look for any sign that you might be near. Yesterday I found a link that said ispoketo my child today.  It was a slide show and it got stuck on the 4th slide.  It said, I'm right here, I can hear you, I'm free of pain, I'm okay.  I took that as being from you....god I hope it was.

Zakery binks is 9 on Monday.  His party is at Mt Evelyn Res today.  The sun is shining. Again I think of you...did you send sun so he might have a great day?  Em is going okay at high school.  She is so the part.  I watched her try the instruments for band.  The flute, which she did easily, the clarinet and the alto sax. 

Her time capsule has included in it a timeline of major events in her life.  Broke my heart to see your death and nanna's side by side in such a short period.  But it must have been a major thing for Emily.

Time is flying by, yet for me it seems its just  a blink since I last saw your face.  Memories of that last time haunt me..

I hope you are close to your girl.  She is 5 and I can only imagine how much of a little Miss she might be.

I love you Micheal, I don't know if I will ever know that you got it....I sometimes think you might have missed how much you meant to me and so many others.

Will take you with me in my heart today.  Hope you can drop by..a dragonfly or two will let me know.  Love you my son my son......Mum

01-19-2011 10:21 PM -- By: Carol,  From: NH  

Hey Micheal Shane: Jeya's words at the picture review were wonderful...a sweet way of letting them all know that you were right there with them, as always.  Your mum is a wonderful person, but I don't have to tell you that, do I?  Surround her with your sweet spirit, Mike, and always let her know that she is loved and you are about. I am glad that your mum does have good memories to smooth her way, and on those days when the way is just too deeply ruptured, please lend her your heart and your strength to help her make it over the next pitfall.

sending love to you, Trudi, and remembering...

Carol  Mikemomrs

12-31-2010 5:50 AM -- By: Ya mum,  From: Venus Bay  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Its 9.31pm on the last day of 2010.  Yes its passing by fast.  I can't help but be taken back to this time 2006.  I think it was the beginning of the end.  I know in my heart you wanted so much to have a future with Harmony and Amanda.

I know we don't get a do over, but I do believe somewhere you are surrounding those who you loved the most with your energy. 

Please know you are now and always my son.  I might not have gotten it right, but believe me I truly only wanted for you to have the life I believe you deserved.  One where your love was returned, where your body would finally allow you to heal and where you were able to see your beautiful daughter blossom.

I will think of you tonight as I drift off to sleep.  Maybe you will be around,maybe you will be with Harmony, either way I miss you my son my son.......Love ya mum

12-27-2010 7:44 PM -- By: Mikesmomrs,  From: NH (BI)  

Hey Mike:  Hope you took a break from the Christmas festivities long enough to "stop by" all your loved ones and surround them with your love--especially your mum...she misses you so much and is loving you always.  I hope you are watching over your beautiful Harmony, also, and trying to find a way to bring her together with your mum again...it would mean so much.  

On BI, we often say that our angels all know each other...I hope this is true, because you all are special, to all of us, and it would be wonderful if it were true that you were all special to each other.  

Christmas brings many memories to all of us, and though it makes us sad sometimes, we are so thankful for all those blessed memories...and we strive to keep our angel's  memory alive on this earth...and your mum, Mike, is at the head of this parade.   The joy these memories do bring to us far outweighs the sadness they sometimes accompany, and we are so very thankful for each one... 

Say "hey" to my Mike for me...

love, Carol  mikesmomrs

12-14-2010 9:40 PM -- By: mum,  From: lost again  

Hey Mike.  It was Laurens birthday yesterday, Jeya's the day before.  Might just be I'm missing you more and more but today really sucks.  Jeya is 4, yes grown so fast.  Its almost 4yrs since I saw you standing in my door telling me 'its going to be okay'.  The what could I have done are haunting me again.  I know it won't change anything, but it doesn't make them go away.  I wonder some days if you truly are painfree and your energy is able to move you to where Harmony is.  Losing you both is sometimes too much to bare.

Its only 10 days till Christmas.  I still haven't got a tree, will be trying for one this Saturday, but my heart isn't in it.  I remember giving Nanna grief about the 'fake tree', but I don't think I could even stand that now. 

I miss you with all my heart.  I hold tight to Melissa and Steven hoping that you are around them too.  Its so true that you really don't know what you have till its gone, I knew what I had and I miss it more than words can say.

Love you my son my son, If only.......mum

11-28-2010 4:39 AM -- By: Mum,  From: Abyss  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Well its about 4 weeks off Christmas and as usual the mind tells me there needs to be movement but the heart aches and says no.

Its a hard season to get excited about.  If not for the grandies I think it would pass as another day.  The excitement of presents being opened, the hunt for the tree, the early morning Christmas 'brekkie' losing much without you. 

I wonder how Harmony willl spend this year.  Her present is yet to be bought, so if you have any ideas please give me a sign. 

Lauren visited with me last Friday.  She has such a place in her heart for you.  The love in her eyes as she remembers your life together - your one true love. 

I will post this now and hope to dream of you.  I have dreamt you called me and told me things are okay.  That all I need to do is call you and you will be there.  These are times when waking robs me of you.

I love you my son my son.  I miss you more than you could know...  Love Mum

11-22-2010 8:24 AM -- By: Betty ,  From: BI NYC  

Dear Trudi Such a beautiful tribute to a precious child.

In  my thoughts and prayers

11-22-2010 4:51 AM -- By: mum,  From: here  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Its the first really hot day of Spring/Summer.  The cicadais are singing and the air is thick.  I think  of the river at Warburton on days like this..We are working towards Christmas.  Families are growing so fast.  Emily is graduating from Primary this next week.   She's as tall as Melissa and will tower over me soon enough.  Jeya is a little ratbag.  She would wrap you around her little finger.  She is fearless, cute and a little devil all rolled into one.  Zak is so like you.  Sensitive, loving and caring to a fault.  He is healing well and I just love hearing him tell me about his days.  Caleb is the practical no nonsense one.  Probably could do with Uncle Mike to show him the softer side of being a boy..  God I miss you my son my son...Christmas was your time.  I saw Lauren this past week.  I know her heart, you know her heart.  She misses you, more than she can say.  I will light a candle for you this next fortnight, look for the light, its my heart calling you home....I love you my son my son....Please stay close to Harmony, she needs the love of her dad.  Keep her safe.  Love you always, from the moon to the stars and back again....Mum

11-09-2010 9:18 AM -- By: Carol Mikesmomrs,  From: New Hampshire, USA  

I walked through Mike's life today, in this memorial to his wonderful spirit.  I love that you have shared these moments...the sad ones and the happy ones...they do make up our lives, don't they...especially now.  Sweet memories---though they become bittersweet in moments of reflection, we are so very grateful to have them.  I know that Micheal is with you, watches over his precious Harmony, his wonderul Em, Caleb, Zak and Jeya, and of course, all of those he holds forever in his heart, as well.  Mike's loving, gentle spirit will always be with all of you, giving you strength for this journey, always.

love and prayers to you, my friend, Trudi.

Carol  mikesmomrs

10-14-2010 7:36 PM -- By: Mum,  From: right here  

Hey Micheal Shane.  Its pouring with rain here, doesn't look like its going to stop. Em and Caleb are coming over tonight.  Melissa is away for her birthday.  Would you believe 34!  I remember when it rained that entire week when you died.  I thought it was tears from heaven, that you were as sad and heart broken leaving as we were having you leave.  The world still moves on and I wonder at times where you might be.  I look for you in the clouds, the waves.  I see your smiling face and can' believe I will never see those brown eyes again.   I hope that you are truly pain free now.  I hope you are able in someway to be around Harmony. I know I blew it with Amanda, mouth before thoughts, my big downfall. I love you with all my heart Micheal Shane.  Miss you more than words will ever tell.    Mum

09-23-2010 5:42 PM -- By: mum,  From:  

Hey Micheal Shane. Today is your baby girl's birthday.  Is it really 5 years since she arrived?  I wish I could see her, see her brown eyes, your eyes.

Her present has been sent - she is never forgotten. 

Em has written in her journal for her birthday each year and still does.

Touch her cheek today.  Let the sunshine  on her face, let her know you are still with her..

Love you my son my son..

09-04-2010 3:27 AM -- By: mum,  From:  

Hey Micheal Shane.  God I miss you.  I think you and I are so much alike.  Love till it hurts then retreat when we are hurt.  

I have to hope you are no longer feeling pain, that you have made it to a place where you are the Micheal I always hoped you would be....really lost even after 3yrs.....love you Mike....

08-08-2010 4:42 PM -- By: christina,  From: columbus,ohio  

07-03-2010 2:35 AM -- By: Carol Mikesmomrs,  From: New Hampshire, USA  

Mike:  Your sweet mum misses you so very much...it is her birthday bowling party today...she will be with family, but a part of that family will be missing...please let her know that you are there with her, as always...brush her cheek with your sweet spirit...

Trudi:  thinking of you as you go through these days and miss your precious son so very much...he is with you...he is with you...

love to you, my friend,

Carol 

06-17-2010 6:49 PM -- By: Ya mum,  From: here  

Mike.  Your 35th birthday has come and gone and it reminds me how long its been since I saw you.  All remember your day - how do we 'celebrate'?   This month has been a roller coaster.  The highlights that would have made you smile would be Jess's deb - she is goregous, and Matt's 18th.  Lauren sms'd, you must be deep in her heart forever.  Your not being here hits her hard.  I wait for the day I will be with you - hope you know I love you with all my heart...one day my son my son.